Hello friends! I just wanted to jump on to share something I heard today that really struck a chord with me. I was listening to an episode of one of my favorite podcasts, The Purpose Show, where Allie Casazza talks about 5 things that really scare her to share. Nearly everything she mentioned resonated with me, but it was her last point that hit home the hardest. Allie shared that despite being a prominent spokesperson for Minimalism and Mindful Parenting, she does NOT do it all. Instead, she relies heavily on delegating to keep her home and business running smoothly. At one point she spoke out to other mamas who might be struggling with trying to do it all themselves, saying,
“If you’re trying to do it all, please stop!
Find something to delegate. Just something!”
Her words landed like an emotional gut punch, pinpointing something I’ve been struggling with for so long but have been unable to express.
I am a HUGE culprit of Do It All Yourself Syndrome! I am TERRIBLE at delegating! While I’ve always chalked it up to being a bit of a control freak (which I admit that I am), for some reason, it finally occurred to me that the root of the issue goes far deeper than that. For me, the urge to do it all myself really centers around the need to prove my value as a stay-at-home mom. I’ve struggled with this feeling for a long time! Even more so now that both of my children are in school.
Allies words suddenly made it crystal clear that my resistance to ask for help around the house, take clothes to the dry cleaner, or hire a someone to mow the lawn is a lot more about wanting to prove that I add value to my family and society than it is to simply be in control!
I know I am not the only one who feels this burden. We live in a society that does not particularly value child rearing. We send new mom’s back to work after 6 weeks because surly she has everything figured out by then. The term “homemaker” has somehow become a degrading word, as if the task of keeping a home running smoothly is so belittling that no woman (or man) would ever choose to claim it. This is not just a stay-at-home mom issue. Mom’s in all walks of life experience this “not enough-ness” in some capacity or another. Regardless of how you divvy up the roles and responsibilities in you’re family, I believe we are all subject to this pressure take on more that what is possible. To prove our value based on the length of our to-do lists. To maintain the illusion that we can do it all just to feel worthy of appreciation.
Let’s work together to break this cycle! This week I am making it a goal to take Allie’s advice and just pick something to let go of. I am going to use that extra bit of time to move a little slower, breathe a little deeper, and remind myself that I am inherently worthy of love and appreciation. It is not something that I have to prove. If this resinated with you, I encourage you to do the same, and above all, I want you to know that I see you!
I see how challenging your job is.
I see all the little tasks that it takes to keep the gears running smoothly.
The ones that are virtually invisible to everyone else around you.
I see that even when you are taking a rare moment of down time, your brain is running a million miles a minute – analyzing, preparing, problem solving…
I see that you are pouring yourself into your family to your absolute capacity.
I see you and I value you tremendously!
I hope you have a great week and please share in the comments below how you are going to celebrate your own self-worth by choosing to delegate one thing!