Dear Moms

Dear Stay at Home Mom

Hi friends, I hope you are all enjoying a taste of spring wherever you are! The influx of warmer temps and sunshine here in NC have been beckoning me outside which explains the quietness here on the blog. Stepping back and leaning into the shift of seasons has been so good for my soul but I am honored to break the silence with a lovely letter from my friend and fellow Stay at Home Mama, Lorissa Pfeifer.

Whether or not you are a SAHM yourself, I know you will connect with her sentiments on this crazy, beautiful thing we call motherhood. Without further ado, please enjoy this lovely addition to our Dear Mom’s Series...

To the Stay at Home Mom,

Being a stay at home mom is the most rewarding job I have ever had… yet it is also the most challenging.

Most days I look around and I am surrounded by princess dresses (I only have girls), toys in every possible corner of the house, and piles of laundry. I feel like I clean the kitchen only to turn around and find that the two tiny tornados I share my home with have completely destroyed another room.

I make an absurd amount of different meals a day, and yet when my husband asks me, “what’s the plan for dinner,” I rarely have a response.

Some days are spent running kids to dance to classes, the grocery store, home for naps, and then out again for more errands….and I’m lucky enough to have two toddlers, so school and sports chaos hasn’t even started yet. I’m always in awe of working moms and how they manage to balance everything and make it look so effortless.

As a SAHM, it’s easy to look at yourself and see everything you aren’t doing or what you’re doing wrong. Just today I can tell you that I have been frustrated with myself for not taking care of the dishes, not running to the grocery store, getting frustrated with my children, sometimes yelling, and feeling guilty for wanting time to myself.

SAHMs don’t get the affirmation of doing a good job in the same way as someone who works at a place of business. We don’t get quarterly reviews saying we are “above average” and a pay raise. If you’re like me you get the occasional, “I love you mommy, you’re so nice….. but sometimes you’re mean too.” That’s not exactly encouragement that you’re doing something right!

As I sat driving in the car yesterday after an EPIC meltdown in the grocery store with my 2 year old, I found myself crying as she continued to scream. I wondered what all those people at the store thought of me as a parent as they just stared at me- not a single one gave an encouraging word or smile. I felt like a complete and utter failure. But today, I realize that what I was
feeling was projected onto me. We live in a society where I THINK people expect SAHMs to have the perfect children, perfectly clean home, healthy planned meals. I THINK my husband wants an organized home and life, complete with little angels for children. But I realized that’s not reality. My husband knows life is crazy, my kids are crazy, and life happens. Most days it’s all about survival. If my kids are happy and learning to be good human beings, then I AM doing my job. Regardless of what I THINK society expects of me.

So to the SAHM, I’m telling you now that you are a good mom! You love your kids fiercely, you do your best to keep up with your never-ending to-do list, and you’re doing a great job! Give yourself a break and don’t be so hard on yourself. Don’t let the pressures of society leave you feeling inadequate (even if we make those pressures up in our own heads…).

An exhausted, stressed out, incredibly blessed mama of 2 perfect little girls.

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If you are a mom who gets the struggle, you can also support Lorissa by checking out her amazing creative business Painted Memories 5280 on facebook or leaving a comment below! Thanks so much for stopping by!

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